Sex Positive Parenting Classes
Sex Positive Parenting For Families
Does anyone in our generation actually remember having any sex talks with their parents? I have been teaching puberty and sexual health education for about ten years now and I ask the same question to every parent that walks into any of my classes. How many of you feel that you had all of the information you comfortably needed to get through puberty? In ten years, I can probably count the number of parents who have answered yes to that question on my fingers and toes collectively. Parents today, grew up in a world of sex education that involved secrecy, shame, abstinence promotion, and an overall lack of understanding of the changes our bodies experience through puberty and our teen years. “Just don’t do it” was the resounding message. Because of this, most parents today have NO idea how to navigate this sex positive world that is beginning for this next and future generations. We didn’t talk about it, so how are we expected to know how to talk to our kids about it? There is no shame in this whatsoever. We do what we know, we teach what we learned…for the most part.
So what is sex positive parenting?
The definition alone may make one think this is a form of parenting today that encourages kids to have sex early and with potentially lots of partners. If you look at it completely from the description, that is partly what comes to my mind. Teaching our kids that sex is a positive thing to do or engage in. To some degree, that IS what this has to do with but not so much how you may be thinking. If we look at what we know about comprehensive sex education, it has been shown to benefit youth in so many ways: delay age of first intercourse, decrease teen pregnancies, decrease frequency of partners, decrease STI’s, and increase knowledge of healthier and safer sex practices. Our generation of abstinence based teaching, which many still feel is the way to go when it comes to educating kids, tweens, and teens, is factually proven to work against our goals of raising healthy, informed children. Sex positive parenting doesn’t mean teaching young kids that it’s ok to have sex whenever and with whomever they decide. Sex positive parenting has to do with realizing, that at some point in their lives, our kids will become sexual beings. Guess what, it’s just as hard for parents to realize that about their kids as much as it is for our kids to think about their parents doing the exact same thing. We may not WANT to think about it, but we NEED to think about it and we need to start it early. Whether you believe in teaching your kids to wait to have sex until marriage or you think it’s ok to do it sooner, they will still become sexual beings at some point in their lives. And, if they’ve never learned proper information, they will falter and make mistakes. Even with information, they still will, but hopefully with less dire circumstances. When we don’t educate our children because of our own discomfort, the one who truly suffers is them. Please read that again.
If you Google ‘Sex Positive Parenting,’ the first thing that comes up is that this is parenting that teaches, in age and developmentally appropriate ways, that learning about bodies, relationships, and sexuality is a natural, normal, and healthy part of childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Sex positive parenting is a way of parenting our children where we make no subject taboo or off limits. We aren’t used to this as parents. When we were young, our parents mostly avoided talking to kids about subjects that were deemed inappropriate for children, such as death, money, correct names of body parts, and yes, sex. If someone died, they went on a long trip or God needed another angel, babies were dropped off by storks or in a cabbage patch, discussing money was rude and inappropriate. Because of our own experiences growing up and NOT talking to our parents, today’s parents have almost become paralyzed when it comes to talking to our children about uncomfortable topics because of our own fear of saying the wrong thing, the thoughts that talking about it will encourage it, fear that our children will repeat what we say and educate others, or out of fear of scaring or hurting our children by telling them the truth.
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Being a sex positive parent changes the thoughts that we have always believed to be true.
Children are information seekers. They will look anywhere and everywhere for answers to their questions. And in this day and age of the internet, we have to be VERY careful of our children looking in these places for the answers to their questions. So, my question here is, Where do YOU want them getting the information from?
You may believe that talking to kids about sex will encourage them to seek it out or give them permission to do it. Research shows that children who’s parents discuss all aspects of sexuality with them tend to actually delay becoming sexually active when compared to those whose parents don’t talk about it. Remember…acknowledging sexuality is not the same as condoning it or giving permission to do it. Also, teaching kids about their bodies, sexuality, and reproduction does not rob children of their innocence either. I have heard this so many times as one of the top reasons parents don’t want to teach their kids. The fact is that talking about bodies and sex early with children, makes these talks a thousand times easier. We bring the shame into these talks by not using correct terms to describe our body parts and by avoiding these conversations because our kids are too young. A young child who learns about sex being an expression of love and something that can create life, can easily retain his or her innocence.
After all of this information on WHY, now here’s the help on the HOW. The Rites of Passage offers a unique concept of sex positive parenting classes by teaching parents and children together. Bringing parents and children together helps kids in countless ways. Children learn the correct name for body parts, they learn factual information so they don’t have to search for it on the internet, they learn they can come to their parents for answers to their questions and that parents can be a safe resource for information. Classes are taught in a positive and fun way which helps parents and kids to learn that these conversations don’t have to be awkward, as most people think they should be. Most of all, these sex positive parenting classes help to increase self esteem by preparing children, tweens, and teens for the puberty years and beyond which is truly a gift to be informed, educated, and prepared for changes before they happen. Puberty education classes with The Rites of Passage, provide children and tweens essential information about their bodies, reproduction, safe/unsafe touch, gender and age appropriate changes associated with puberty, how to communicate with parents/caregivers, self esteem, body image, relationships, and so much more. If you are looking for a fun and unique way to communicate, share your own experiences growing up, and be a sex positive parent resource for your own kids when it comes to puberty and sexual health, you have come to the right place. It’s never too young to start these conversations. When children are taught about their bodies from a loving and safe place, even at a young age, they are given the essential information they need to do their best growing. We believe in a world where no subject is taboo!
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